Thick Skin
As part of my yoga teacher training program we have a mentorship program, so newly qualified teachers get to teach in the studio with ready made classes, and get feedback and further training on language, position and goals. Throughout that process we have a whatsapp group, and 1-1 coaching calls. A topic that often comes up in this process is dealing with difficult students, someone who comes into class and is rude / unhappy / aggressive - difficult, in some way.
In our 200 hour training we have a module on ‘Thick Skin’, for this exact reason. We train our teachers to be able to see what is the student’s ‘stuff’ and what can the teacher work on. From day one of the training we offer feedback on their teaching, starting with just voice volume, and then language, positioning etc. This helps teachers with their technique but also helps them relearn that feedback is not criticism, it’s a gift, a way to grow. Sadly most people are scared of feedback as it triggers feelings of hyper-criticism or bullying as a child. Once teachers practice taking feedback, applying what they agree with and leaving what they don’t agree with, they are much better prepared for teaching (and life!). However, we are still human after yoga teacher training! We will still feel anxious etc., the difference is teacher training gives you so many tools to cope.
We cannot control the external, only the internal. We cannot control who walks into our class. And, everyone triggers us in some way. If the person looks or talks in a certain way subconsciously that will remind us of someone else, who we will have good or bad connotations of. If the person triggers us in a way that we don’t like, as a new teacher that can really throw you off your class, and even be the straw that stops you from teaching anymore. After all the work that you have done, to let another persons ‘stuff’ get in your way to where you want to go is such a shame. But, this happens in so many areas of life, not just yoga teaching. So how do we deal with it?
It's all about compassion. Not just the frilly ‘let’s all love each other’ but to consciously choose to remove all your subconscious assumptions and meet the person where they are. Maybe they have been in an accident, maybe they are dealing with unimaginable stress at home, maybe they’re just having a bad day. A person is only ever doing the best they can with the tools they have, and maybe their default behaviour learnt from childhood is blame. So they come in blaming you for their bad day / life / body etc. Cue - your thick skin! You are practised in this. You have worked through the root of your triggers on the training. So, you can see what is ‘their stuff’, and what they might be battling with, and you can meet them with compassion. You don’t need to pick at the alignment of their yoga poses, they are picking on themselves enough all day, you can leave them in their greatness, help them fall in love with yoga, give them a tonne of encouragement and week on week, watch them transform. Those who are the hardest to love, are those who need it the most!
After class - journal. What came up for you? How were you triggered? Where did that come from? And so, as you teach you heal yourself too. Each person that challenges you, presents you with an opportunity to grow and heal. That is the beauty and gift of teaching yoga, you’re not only helping others transform through compassion, but yourself too. And, we can do this in every walk of life every day, with a commitment to a compassionate mindset.